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Kimball, Minnesota
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January 29, 2009     Tri-County News
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January 29, 2009
 

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Page 2 Opinion Thursday, January 29, 2009 ws * Kimball, MN Nate Fredrickson Jolly Ranchers Ready or not, life goes on and the Fall of Man Last week, I did one of the hard- est things I've ever had to do. I drove our family dog to the vet's office to have the dog put to sleep. She had large tumors in her nose and mouth, most likely cancer, but she couldn't breathe or eat. Given that, it was actually an easy and unanimous decision. Sophie spent her last day bask- ing in the sunshine, laying on our front step on a relativelywarm day. But making that drive was really hard. Perhaps strangely to .some, our 8-year-old son (who now pre- fers the name "Luke") insisted on coming along. He helped to hold the dog as she got the injection, and he stayed with her after she was "gone". Compassion is one of the few things that separates humans from the rest of the animal king- dom. Maybe I should saythe capac- ity for compassion. And compas- sion is not something you develop when you reach a certain age. I was happy that "Luke" wanted to be there for Sophie, even up to the very end. I can't lie or trick him either. I've heard from adults who were told as a child that their pet just ran off when the parents had'actually had the pet put down. As adults, they still haven't gotten over it. It's still sinking in that the fourth member of our family for six years is no more. She was a rescue dog, in a way. My cousin in Mississippi had found her (or was it vice versa?) and helped her back to health. It was obvious that someone had used the young German shepherd in dog-fighting. They must have really abused her, as years later she still cringed sometimes. But she was a sweet and loving dog, and a great companion and friend. On the drive home from the vet, "Luke" declared that we need a new dog. And so the search began. Finding a new pet these days is very different. ! thought I might find something on-line and, boy, did I ever! At alone, ! found more than 300 dogs witin 50 miles of here; most were at eight or so shelters. And I was truly sur- prised that I could find just about any breed of dog at shelters, from purebreeds to interesting mixes. With hearts still breaking, just two days after our dog died, we decided to visit the Tri-County Human Society in St. Cloud. Our plan was to just meet some of the dogs.there, some that we had already seen on-line and maybe a few others. Well, you can imagine the rest. We came home with a dog. She's a beautiful Shar-Pei/Lab- orador mix who's a year old. We're still looking tO get into a new routine, but it seems that we fell in love with her and she with US. She has thoroughly sniffed every square inch of the house, at least once, and seems comfortable and at home. It was almost as if Sophie found her for us and, if dogs were capa- ble of such higher-level thought and emotion, she would certainly approve. Our heavy hearts are a little lighter knowing that another dog is so happy to have a home. It's good to hear the pitter-patter of little feet again. Even as Sophie's pawprints, still visible down our driveway from her last trip to the mailbox, still make me tear up. DEADLINE: 2 p.m. Mondays After millions of dollars and painstaking research, scientists have discovered that those with a sweet tooth fall into two kinds: those who love chocolatey treats, and those who have an affinity for candies like Hubba Bubba bubble gum, Skittles, and my favorite ... the delectable Jolly Rancher. Jolly Ranchers, unlike many sub-par sweets being produced for less discriminating candy con- sumers, are much like a fine wine. They are the candy Triple Crown, providing the imbiber with a com- plex blend of sweet, sour and, of course, more fruitiness than a room full of male interior decora- tors[ Indeed, Jolly Ranchers are the Prozac of the candy world. And just like Prozac, the candy named after a group of cheerful livestock farmers has several side-effects, including but not limited to hav- ing the fillings violently yanked from your teeth by this confec- tion's unusually strong adhesive properties! Many people are not aware of the origin of the Jolly Rancher. Some historians believe the heav- enly hard yummies were created by a guy named Adam in 3950 B.C. He and his wife Eve ate Jolly Ranch- ers for breakfast, lunch and dinner, and life was good for this fig leaf- free couple. Until that one fateful day when a serpent tempted Eve to try the fruit of the one tree Adam's landlord said he couldn't partake ... the chocolate tree! The consequences were dire indeed. Not only were the two evicted from paradise but, sadly, the once-perfect candy was cursed by the addition of blue raspberry and grape to the other- wise ideal combination of cherry, watermelon and green apple. For Adam there was much weeping and gnashing of his once filling- free teeth! And tragically, Eve had forsaken her love of Jolly Ranchers and would only eat the forbidden fruit ofthe chocolate tree and, 1o, Eve's butt expaflded like the Babylonian Empire. Adam was not immune to this curse and, although he didn't like to eat the dreaded raspberry- and grape-flavored Jolly Ranchers, he did when he ran out of the other flavors and, lo, did his teeth rot, causing him to appear as though he was a dedicated fan of NASCAR As a theology student, I learned of the Doctrine of Original Sin, the state of sin as a result of the Fall of Man. Because of his fall from grace, man would be forced to live in an imperfect world, a world filled with sickness, strife and, of course, grape- and blue raspberry-flavored Jolly Ranchers. I was reminded of this the other day when, after a long day at the office, I purchased a big bag of my favorite candy. As I began my com- mute home on that dark winter night, I opened the bag and blindly reached in to pluck from it a cello- phane-wrapped morsel. Of all the flavors I could have pulled from the bag it was, to my dismay, blue raspberry! I reluc- tantly consumed it. chewing quickly instead of savoring it like I would a sour apple, cherry or watermelon one. In the darkness I chose another, it was grape! Des- perately, I reached for another and another only to end up popping alternate grapes and blue raspber- ries into my mouth. Had I bought nothing but grape and blue raspberry Jolly Ranch- ers? Is it possible that the mak- ers of this candy would produce a bag of only the unpopular flavors? Discouraged by this possibility, I p~ut the bag in my coat pocket and lamented whatI thought was the greatest marketing blunder since the introduction of the Do -It-Your- self Vasectomy kit. The next morning I returned to my office and, just like I did every weekday morning, I opened the drawer where I put my cell phone and keys and reached in my pocket for these items. As I did, I fek the bag of remaining Jolly Ranchers. I extracted them from my pocket and poured the contents into the drawer. It was then I realized how truly affected we were by man- kind's expulsion from Eden. The only remaining flavors were those first enjoyed b~ Adam and Eve in paradise ... green apple, cherry and watermelon! .~.~", -" ~" I.:l.~i ~ / ~.~!" / " , ,../// ,!, ' ' o,,+ 'li I POSTMASTER: Send address changes to the Tri-County News, RO. Box 220, Kimball MN55353. The Tn-County News (USPS 639- 180) is entered at the Post Office, KimbaU, Minnesota 55353, as Periodi- cals. It is published Thursdays by the Tn-County News, Inc., RO. Box 220, Kimball MN 55353, Stearns County. LOCATION: Our office is at 70 Main Street South in downtown Kimball. Weekday office hours are Monday 9 a.m.-5 p.m. and Tuesday through Friday 9 a.m.-2 p.m. Our telephone and fax number is (320) 398-5000. E-mail can be addressed to . Our Web site is . We also have a drop site at Ertl Hard- ware Hank in downtown Watkins. DEADLINE: Preferred deadline for news and advertising is 5 p.m. Friday/Absolute deadline is 2 p.m. Monday. Only classified line ads may be accepted until 5 p.m. Monday. RATES: Subscription rates are $30/year ($20 for age 62 and old- er) in Minnesota; S40/year (S30 for seniors) elsewhere in the U.S. Single copy price is 75 cents. STAFF: Jean Doran Matua, Editor and Publisher Sue Hughes: Creative Designer Maxine Doran: Admin. Asst. dacqui DuBois: Staff Writer The staff of the Tri-County News recognizes that it has a responsi- bility to report the news accurate- [y and fairly, and that it is account- able to the public. Please contact our office if you feet we've fallen short of that objective. LETrERS: The Tri-County News welcomes letters promoting the ex- change of ideas and opinions. To be considered for publication, letters should address a topic of current or general interest. Private thanks, po- litical self-promotion, libelous let- ters, or letters denigrating character or reputation wiU not be published. All letters must bear the wnter's sig- nature, address and telephone num- ber. We reserve the Hght to edit for clarity and readability. LEGAL PUBLICATION: The Tri- County News is the publication of record for the city of Kimball, Independent School District #739, Clearwater River Watershed Dis- trict, Stearns County, and the Townships of Fair Haven, Kingston and Maine Prairie. RECYCLING: The Tri-County News is printed with soy inks on recycled paper whenever possible. We encourage'recycling. COPYRIGHT: All content herein is the property of the Tri-County News and is protected by U.S. copyright taw; content may not be reproduced without our written prior consent. We are proud to be a member of: Minnesota Newspaper Assoc. Kimball Area Chamber Kimball Area Historical Society Stearns County Press Assoc. 2007 MNA Award for Advertising Excellence; 2007 MNA Award, Best Information Graphic; 2006 MNAAward, Classified Adver- tising; 2004 MNA Award, Advertis- ing Excellence; 2000 MNA Award, Best Local News Story. 2008, ~ ,~ ~. Tri-County News ~ ~ ~6 TCN Office Hours: Mondays, 9 a.m.-5 p.m. Tues.-Fri., 9 a.m.-2 p.m. Call for availability at other times