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February 11, 2010     Tri-County News
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February 11, 2010
 

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Pa e 2 Opinion Thursday, February 11,2010 TH-County News Kimball, MN The Valentine's Day "Slices of Life" For the love of ~ror~gl~ cftountjds~temcmasaying, "What do you doppelg inger mean I'm cheap, honey? I did super size it, didn't I?" DO buy your wife tasteful inti- mate apparel from a respectable boutique. DON'T buy your wife lin- gerie from a novelty'store, which requires batteries to power the dig- ital sign attached to the skivvies, which reads 'Hot Momma.' DO write her a beautiful poem or, if musically inclined, a love song extolling her many virtues and incomparable beauty. DON'T write her a poem trying to rhyme her .name with things only men like. Let's be honest, 'Barb' does not rhyme with 'Favre,' does it? DO take 7tour significant other on a weekend away to some exotic location. DON'T forget the defi- nition of 'exotic' location does not include a Bass Pro Shop, Cabel- la's, bowling alley, or Buffalo Wild Wings! DO buy her a large bouquet of flowers. DON'T tell her you got them from a buddy of yours who works for a funeral parlor. I actu- ally know a guy who did this, and let's just say he and his couch are on first-name basis. And if I could impart just one more crucial bit of advice from a guy who now realizes deep freez- ers, vacuum cleaners, toaster ovens and health-club memberships aren't wise choices for roman- tic Valentine's Day gifts ... what- ever you think is a good gift idea, Up until a week ago, I thought Facebook was all about faces - given the site's name and all. you can probably understand where I was coming from. But. if I've learned one thing over the years, it's that life is full of surprises- and some of them are downright dop- pelg~ingers. Facebook is a well-used online social networking utility. Most people probably know this, unless they have been vacationing on another planet for the last two years, or are as technologically challenged as me. If this pertains to you, I hope you have been vaca- tioning. Despite my shortcomings/ I am a Facebook member - signed Up and official. I've reconriected with friends, neighbors, cousins and long-lost college roommates through this online tool. Facebook even counts my friends for me. I can't complain. And I won't, because this week Facebook did something that I never dreamed possible. It intro- duced me to something new and beautiful: the word, "doppelgan- ger." Facebook may be all about faces, but I am all about words. I deal with words for a living; they are like my.friends. I don't believe I've ever met a word that's more friend-worthy than.doppelg~inger. It's like a song and poem wrapped just do the exact opposite and in jfist four simple, yetgloriouslsyl- there's a pretty good chance you'~g. live to see another Feb. 14. . 2010, N.M. Fredrickson, All Rights Reserved. of bravery and heroism against insur- mountable odds by men through the ages. A shepherd boy slaying a giant with only a slingshot; 300 fear- less Spartans holding off a massive Persian army of thousands at Ther- mopylae; GeorgeWashington defeat- ing a superlo~ force of Red Coats with a ragtag army of tmtrained, poorly- equipped soldiers ... and, of course, any guy trying to find a Valentines Day gift for his significant other! I am sure that the very thought of buying a suitable Valentines Day gift would cause even brave King David, loin cloth-wearing Spartan warriors, or General George him- self to run away, screaming like lit- tle girls b~ing pursued by a coo- tie-infested 10-year-old boy! When faced with this same challenge, I too, must resist the urge to heed my tiny bit of French ancestry and imme- diately surrender at the thought of finding a gift for my wife. After 18 years of marriage, and more than a couple Feb. 14th eve- nings sleeping on the couch next to Moon Pie, our abnormally flatulent dog, I have compiled a few DOs and DON'Ts, which might help other beleaguered guys as they struggle to find the right gift for their wives or girlfriends. DO buy your lady a box of chocolates. DON'T buy her a box of fihocolates and eat your favor- ite ones first, then justify it by say- ing something like, "Didn't you say you ~vanted to lose a few pounds? I ~_l~l~s doing Y~U a favor!" DO fi'l'dke the love of your life a romantic candlelit dinner at home. DON'T try to defend your menu Topic Of free seminar is lilies sponsoring a free seminar at 7 p.m. Tuesday, Feb. 23, in the Community Room of Sauk Rapids City Hall, 115 Second Avenue North, Sauk Rap- ids. The presenter will be Diane Hansgen, Stearns County Master Gardener and Perennial Specialist at Thomsen Greenhouses. Diane has a passion for perennials and is a collector of many plant varieties. She enjoys passing her knowledge and her secretg of success to every- one. Atterzd this free seminar Feb. 23 to learn more about these very beautiful, easy.to-grow perenni- als ttiat have become very popular among gardeners. I discovered this one-word trib- ute to modern language a few days ago, and it's been tripping off my tongue ever since. Doppelg~inger. Doppelg~inger. Doppelg~inger. It's fun to say and.fun to hear - two of my requirements for linguis- tic distinction. It immediately went into my collection of word favorites, along with entries like labyrinth, discombobulation, twyndyllyng, and heterozygous. They all have a special place in my heart. Not quite as magical as the tintinnabulation of Edgar Allen Poe's bells of course, but with Poe, we require a phrase to make word magic. Doppelg~inger stands onitsown. It is unique, combining consonants that keep the lips and tongue busy with vowels that just feel right. [ saw it there on my Facebook page and ~vas smitten. It didn't matter that 1 had no idea what the word meant. The Doppelg~inger: An illegal alien from Canada, traveling without a passport. Doppelg~inger: A new breed of dog made by crossing a Great Dane and a Dachshund - known for its speed and ability to limbo. Doppelg~Lnger: An advanced weather radar system that tracks changes in precipitation along with the flight patters of migrat- ing geese. Doppelg~inger: A maneuver used in figure skating that com- binesthe techniques of the triple toe loop, lutz and salchow jump. Doppelganger: A person who claims to be a registered member of both the republican and demo- cratic political parties. My imagination was into over- time when I finally looked up the word odyssey in the dictionary. Facebook wasn't veering too far from its roots when introducing us to doppelg~inger; the word has a lot to do with faces. Most of the infor- mation I found (okay, all the infor- mation) defines doppelg~inger as an evil ghostly twin. Facebook appar- ently redefined that definition to mean a celebrity twin. Is our favor- ite social networking utility trying to say something (other than dop- pelg/inger) about celebrities here? Your guess is as good as mine. Facebook asked members to post their dOppelg~ingers, and it's amazing how many people think they look like Brad Pitt or Julia Rob- erts. Hardly anyone has a Billy Joel or Susan Boyle doppelg~inger. Inter- esting. I do have one friend who believes he resembles an orange Muppet, but that's a whole other article. As for me, I was convinced that I didn't look like anyone famous; in other words, I was doppelg~inger- less. Then a good friend sent me a photo of Mike Myers playing the character of Austin Powers in The SpyWho Shagged Me, suggesting he was my doppelg~inger. She thought I looked like a man! I didn't know what to think. Everyone knows I'm not Mike Myers, don't they? " But then again with a new friend like doppelg/anger'-who cares? (Oh yeah, baby!) Jill Pertler is a syndicated col- umnist and award-winning free- lance writer working with graphic design+r Nikki .Willgohs, to pro- vide writing and design and other marketing services to businesses There are more than 200 spe- cies of lilies and countless num- bers of hybrids. Therefore, it is little wonder that we become confused .when we are trying to select from Asiatics, trumpets, Orientals, mart- agons, tigers and then add crosses between two of the types like orien- pets. It is important' to distinguish between them because each type of lily may require slightly differ- ent care. By planting a wide variety of lilies, you can have a long season of bloom. To help you distinguish the dif- ferences between the types of lilies and to provide.you with informa- tion on how to grow lilies, the Ben- ton County Master Gardeners are ~ ~, ~,~ ~ ~~ " cadence had me hooked at "dop." .... The letters spun around in my ~:1[~ _~~ brain as I pondered possible dic- ~-~ tionary definitions: and individuals. You can check out their Web site at or e-mail Jill at . www.tricou ntyn ews. M N POSTMASTER: Send address changes to the Tri-County News, P.O. Box 220, Kimball MN 55353. The 3=ri-County News (USPS 639- 180) is entered at the Post Office, KimbaU, Minnesota 55353, as Periodi- cals. It is published Thursdays by the TH-County News, Inc., RO. Box 220, KimbaU MN 55353, Stearns County. LOCATION: Our office is .at 70 Main Street South in downtown Kimball Weekday office hours are Monday 9 a.m.-5 p.m. and Tuesday through Fri- day 9 a.m.-2 p.m. Our telephone and fax number is (320) 398-5000. E-mail can be addressed to . Our Web site is . We also have a drop site at Ertl Hardware Hank in down- town Watkins. DEADLINE: 2 p.m. Monday. RATES: Subscription rates are $30/year (520 for age 62 and old- er) in Minnesota; S40/year ($30 for seniors) elsewhere in the U.S. Single copy price is 75 cents. STAFF: Jean Doran Matua, Editor and Publisher Sue Hughes: Creative Designer Maxine Doran: Admin. Asst. Photographer: Marguerite Laabs The staff of the Tri-County News recognizes that it has a responsi- bility to report the news accurate- [y and fairly, and that it is account- able to the public. Please contact our office if you feet we've fallen short of that.objective. LETTERS: The Tn-County News welcomes letters promoting the ex- change of ideas and opinions. To be considered for publication, letters should address a topic of current or general interest. Private thanks, po- litical self-promotion, libelous let- ters, or letters denigrating character or reputation will not be published. All letters must bear the writer's sig- nature, address and telephone num- ber. We reserve the right to edit for darity and readability. LEGAL PUBLICATION: The Tri- County News is the publication of record for the city of Kimball, Independent School District #739, Clearwater River Watershed Dis- trict, Stearns County, and the Townships of Fair Haven, Kingston and Maine Prairie. RECYCLING: The Tri-County News is printed with soy inks on recycled paper whenever possible. We encourage recycling. COPYRIGHT: Art content herein is the property of the Tri-County News and is protected by U.S. copyright taw; content may not be reproduced without our written prior consent. We are proud to be a member of: Minnesota Newspaper Assoc. Kimball Area Chamber Kimball Area Historical Society Stearns County Press Assoc. 2009 MNA Award for Best Self- Promotion Ad; 2008 MNAAward for Best Advertisement; 2008 Award for Portrait and Per, sonality Photography; 2007 MNA Award for Advertising Excellence; 2007 MNA Award, Best nformation Graphic; 2006 MNA Award, Classified Adver- tising; 2004 MNA Award, Advertis- ing Exceilence; 2000 MNAAward, Best Local News Story. 2010, m-county News Iml ~ ~ ~ ~" ................................... ~ ~zas 71 ~" 18-67 "