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August 25, 2016     Tri-County News
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August 25, 2016
 

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PA"E 2 ea _,, ........ ......... www.tricountynews.mn "From the Heart" I'm in tears reading the crimi- Tonight (Tuesday) will be the nal complaint and charges against candlelight vigil for Mayna. It's Zachary Anderson that were filed really more for Mayna's family; a in court about an hour ago. strong show of support for them in There is a odd sense of relief what has to be the lowest possible knowing what happened, even point in their lives. though it was all so unspeakably Next week, after Alayna has horrible., been laid to eternal rest, and the After reading through the TV news trucks go away, Matt and details, one thought rose above the Kayla and brother Carter will try to others. They found Alayna after find a new "normal" in their lives. they spotted a corner of her fresh Please continue to pray for all of pink Disney "Frozen" Princess Alayna's family and friends in the Elsa blanket, days, weeks, months and years to According to the complaint, come! Anderson tried to hide her lifeless School will begin soon ... with- body under debris in the swamp, out Alayna; her class will start kin- But they found her pink blanket dergarten in two weeks. Life will in the water, and that led them to go on ... withoutMayna. Holidays, find her. birthdays, weddings, summer MaynaErtlwasasometimesshy vacations, all this and more will little girl who, by all accounts, was continue. There will be happiness always happy. She especiallyloved and joy again in her family's lives. to dance around in her outfits and There will. Mayna will not be pres- to sing, especially "Let It Go" from ent to play and sing and twirl. But the Disney movie "Frozen." She her spirit will always be with her slept with her Princess Elsa blan- family. Always. ket every night. The pink Princess And I hope a little of it will be Elsa blanket that helped deputies present with each of us. Let us find her little body. claim a little bit of her joy as our Anderson seems to be Coopera- own, and make it a mission to tire with authorities; he led them spread it everywhere. Not one of us to the swampy woods where heis promised tomorrow, so let's fully had tried to hide Alayna. I can only live in today. hope and pray that he continues to Sing and twirl when you feel cooperate and that answers to the like it. Hug and touch and snuggle question "Why?" can emerge, now when you need to. Go out and take that we have some of the "How?" joy in life's every-day events. Wear questions answered, . your cowboy boots, just because. But please, let's not focus on Say things like "I love you" and what was done to her in those last, "I think you're great" and "you're few hours of her life. That is a tiny special to me" as often as you pos- flash of time in the 51,000-some siblycan. hours of her life. Let us instead Hold the loved ones in your remember the giggles and laughs, life even closer. Live as if today is the hugs and dances, the smiles all we have, for we know not what and songs that filled those 51,000- tomorrow brings. some hours. Hold onto your pink blanket - Alayna was the joy and light whatever form that is for you- and of her parents' and grandpar- love it to pieces. Literally love it to ents' lives. All who knew her were shreds. warmed by her spirit. She was a Let Alayna, and her little pink friend to everyone, loving and blanket, show you the way to joy kind. Let this be the memory that - the kind that nothing can take lives on. away or destroy. Let her forever be Thousands of people have a little princess. been following Alayna's story, in the news and on social media. As a final note, please keep in Thousands of dollars have been mind that turning our grief and Iaised: people touched byAlayna's pain into hatred toward Anderson story and donating to her family is is not a solution. A heart filled a tangible way they can help. They with joy and love has no room all, in some way, share the pain for hatred, toward anyone. He is of Alayna's story. I hope they can clearly a troubled soul, and his share some of the joy of her life too. Maker will mete out the appropri- ate judgment on him. .I A kindergarten teacher shared this information recently, and it's important enough to share here. "Young children don't know that sadness isn't forever. It's fright- ening for them to feel that their sadness may overwhelm them and never go away. That 'the very same people who are sad sometimes are the very same people who are glad sometimes' is something all par- ents need to help their children come to understand." Fred Rogers was an ordained minister, but bet- ter known for his long-running TV show, "Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood." Children are curious Children will ask lots of ques- tions Asking the same ques- tion again and again gives a child another chance to test our answers and gradually come to their own understanding. to see "what dead feels like." family has his or her own way of Words can be confusing expressing grief at his or her own Children tend to take what we pace. say literally. If told that death is Expressing feelings like "going to sleep," a child can Children need to understand develop problems going to bed that angry thoughts and wishes and going to sleep for fear that he they may have don't make things or she may never wake up. It can happen. be confusing to say that someone When children are going has "lost" a father, or daughter, or through stressful times, they often that "grandma is on a long, long regress to a time that was safer. journey." They can lose abilities they've "If heaven is in the sky, why already achieved, like toilet train- are we burying grandma in the ing. They may become clingy, ground?" they may ask. Or, "If whiny, and overly dependent, we go up in an airplane, can I see my baby sister who's in heaven?" To say "Your daddy is in heaven watching over you," may be intended to be reassuring, but it can be scary or creepy to a child. It's often more helpful to answer a child's questions with, demanding attention in whatever way they can get it. One of the most appropri- ate and necessary ways that chil- dren grieve is through their play. Some parents are uncomfortable when their children "play" about death right after a family member Many of these questions may "No one knows for sure, but I focus on body functions that are believe..." Saying "I wonder about important to them. "Can a dead that, too," is a special way of keep- person or animal get hungry ... ing the communication between feel cold.., make a BM or pee-pee parent and child open. in the ground?" Children aren't Each child reacts differently trying to be rude or hurt anyone's When a loved one has died, has died. Children who play about death are usually feeling so sen- sitive about it that they're using the best means they have to try to come to terms with what it means and how they feel about it. Responding to children's feelings, some children may cry a lot,questions The finality of death is thewhile others may not. Some find Your child may hear of some- hardest thingto comprehend, par- it easy to talk openly, and oth- one's death in another family ticularly for young children. Their ers hold their thoughts and feel- and suddenly realize that people friends may "play dead," then ings inside for a long time. One do die. Sooner or later, most chip jump up and round around again, child might find comfort in music, dren ask, "Willyou die, Mommy... Dead cartoon characters pop up while another might turn to story Daddy?" With honesty and confi- alive again. It takes a long time for books. Some may even act as dence, we can say something like children to realize that death is though nothing had happened "I hope to be alieve for along, long permanent, and go about their everyday busi- time. And no matter what, there Children may also be curious ness of playing as usual. It takes will always be someone to take to see what "dead" looks like. With time for children to understand care of you." caring preparation, a child seeing what death means, and even when Death is a mystery. When chil- a dead body can be less frighten- they understand, they may not feel dren ask questions about death, ing than the fantasies that many ready to acknowledge their pain- nobodyhas all the answers. Even if children have about it. Children ful feelings. Of course, it's import- you have said something that you may even want to touch the body ant to honor taht. Each one in the later regret, let your child know that you thought of a better way to talk about it. If you can accept your humanness, your child can too. There probably will be many times throughout their lives that children will feel that the world has turned upside-down. Knowing that real love and good memories never die can nourish everyone in the family in every time of need. This content and many other wonderful resources can be found online at www fredrogers.org. The Tri-County News is the official Newspaper of the Cities of Kimball and Watkins; the Kimball Area School District (ISD#739); Fair Haven, Forest Prairie, Kingston, and Maine Prairie Townships; and Clearwater River Watershed District. POSTMASTER: Send address changes to the Tri-County News, P.O. Box 220, Kimball MN 55353. The Tri-County News (USPS 639-180) is entered at the Post Office, Kimball, Minnesota 55353, as Periodicals. It is published Thursdays by Tri-County News, P.O. Box 220, Kimball MN 55353, Stearns County. LOCATIONS: Our office is at 70 S. Main St. in downtown Kimball. Weekday office hours are Monday 9 a.m.-5 p.m. and Tuesday through Friday 9 a.m.-2 p.m. Our telephone and fax number is (320) 398-5000 or (320) 453-6397. E-mail can be addressed to news@tricountynews.MN. Our Web site is www.tricountynews.MN. We also have drop sites at Ertl Hardware Hank in downtown Watkins. RATES: Subscription rates are $36/year ($26 for age 62 and older) in Minnesota; $46/year ($36 for seniors) elsewhere in the U.S. Single copy price is $1. DEADLINE FOR SUBMISSIONS: 2 p.m. Monday (3 p.m. Friday if Monday is a holiday). OUR AWARD-WINNING STAFF: Jean Doran Matua, Editor and Publisher Maxine Doran: Typesetter, Circulation Marguerite Laabs: Photographer Sue Hughes: Creative Designer Jayne Harff: Office Manager Pat Garry: Staff Writer Mary Knaus: Sales The staff of the Tri-County News recognizes that it has a responsibility to report the news accurately and fairly, and that it is accountable to the public. Please contact our office if you feel we've fallen short of that objective. LETTERS: The Tri-County News welcomes letters promoting the exchange of ideas and opinions. To be considered for publication, letters should address a topic of current or general interest. Private thanks, political self-promotion, libelous letters, or letters denigrating character or reputation will not be published. All letters must bear the writer's signature, address and telephone number. We reserve the right to edit for clarity and readability. LEGAL PUBLICATION: The Tri-County News is the publication of record for the City of Kimball; City of Watkins; Independent School District #739 (Kimball); Clearwater River Watershed District, and the Townships of Fair Haven, Forest Prairie, Kingston, and Maine Prairie. RECYCLING: The Tri-County News is printed with soy inks on recycled paper whenever possible. We encourage recycling. COPYRIGHT: All content herein is the property of the Tri-County News and is protected by U.S. copyright law; content may not be reproduced without our written prior consent. We are proud to be a member of: Minnesota Newspaper Assoc., Kimball Area Chamber, Eden Valley Chamber, Watkins Chamber, and Kimball Area Historical Society. The Tri-County News has won numerous peer-judged awards for advertising, website, photography, and writing. We strive to be Your Hometown News, with a printed newspaper and a website of which you can be proud. 2016, Tri-County News, all rights reserved.